Brutal Bootie

You guys, today’s WOD was a doozy. I had a doctor’s appointment at 9, so I slept in and went to the 7:15 class. It was my first class with Doug and I have to say, I’m a big fan of both his taste in music and style in coaching. I used to listen to hip hop when I worked out. For some reason, I love the 80s-90s-current metal/rock mix on the old CrossFit Durham iPod. Why doing pushups to “Master of Puppets” gets me all happy when before only bitche$ and hoe$ would do, I don’t know. I’m weird like that.

Master of PushUps? Not so much.

Anyway, we started with 10 sets of 2 back squats at 75% of 1RM. I have no idea what my 1RM (the max amount you can lift once) is in back squats, so I worked up to 73#. That felt pretty good, so I stuck with it. the sets began on the minute every minute for 10 minutes, so a nice rest built in. I am still a smidge above parallel when I squat. Damn you, hip flexors. I will beat you.

The next part… well, here’s how it’s supposed to go:

100-80-60-40-20 double unders
50-40-30-20-10 push ups

So you do 100 DUs, then 50 pushups, then 80 DUs, then 40 pushups, etc. That’s 300 double unders and 150 pushups. Doug gave us a million different ways to scale and encouraged us to do so because as he kept repeating, “that’s a lot of pushups.” Indeed. Pushups and I are not friends. I still work from my knees, though during warm ups I sort of snake from my toes. I’m getting there. Doug also didn’t make me double or triple my single under jump roping. Instead, he said attempt a DU for 30% of each set. Basically, I tried every third jump to get the rope under me twice. Twice (in approximately 100 attempts) I made it under one foot but not the other. Progress!

Anywho, I did:

100-80-60-40-20 1/3 DU attempts, 2/3 singles
30-25-20-15-10-5 pushups

It took me 20:43 and by the end I couldn’t string 3 pushups together. So, end of workout, I’m dying, wondering how again I managed to make it through even a heavily scaled version of such a crazy workout, starting to get that “I’m a badass. Take that, last night’s milkshake!” feeling, when I remembered… there is a finisher.

Chick-fil-A is far too close to my house. The small has over 500 calories.

Finishers are simply the (gluten-free, sugar-free) icing on the (gluten-free, sugar-free, paleo) cake. It’s what you do when you think your workout is over but HAHA it’s not. Monday we had 100 face pulls with a band. You don’t pull it with your face, you pull it toward your face, though if you would like to pull a band with your face, by all means.

Today, it was 100 banded KB swings. Remember that I love kettlebells? Well, I do, but with a band, they are brutal. I usually swing 35#, but with the band they’re super heavy, so I swung 20#.

So yes, 20 back squats at 73#, 300 jump ropey things, 105 pushups, 100 kettlebell swings.

If I get out of bed tomorrow, I swear I will shout “VICTORY!!” loud enough to scare my dogs.

On a separate note… y’all, I am eating too much dessert. I have oatmeal or hard boiled eggs with fruit for breakfast, a tasty salad w/ lean protein for lunch, and I have to say last week we went out for dinner WAY too often, as we are wont to do in summer (what does that even mean?). This week we’ve eaten at home (veggie burgers and a chicken sausage/spinach mix) and I may or may not have had movie popcorn for dinner on Monday, but more or less, the food I eat is pretty decent. BUT I am having a daily treat. Yesterday I had two treats (like, a milkshake and a cookie bar, not a mini snickers and a teaspoon of honey). Monday there was movie popcorn and M&Ms. Sunday night there was ice cream. Over the weekend I made chocolate meringue pie for my Dad and had a slice and a half on Saturday and a slice on Sunday. I have got to get this sweets ish under control. I’ve started reading the Beck diet book again, which is super helpful, but it’s slow progress and I feel like I’m moving backwards in the sweets zone. The desserts at work are unreal, and it’s SO HOT we’ve been doing ice cream in some form almost nightly.

Tips, y’all, I need tips! Help me not balloon this summer from sweets like I do every. single. year. It’s too hot to eat real foods, so I eat salad (yay!) and ice cream (boo!). I’m proud of myself for the progress I’ve made in learning to eat healthy breakfasts and lunches (and when I cook) and dinners. But the sweets! How do you get through your daily sugar cravings ??

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2 thoughts on “Brutal Bootie

  1. How about just smaller portions of ice cream? I just bought two flavors (B&J’s Bonnaroo Buzz and Breyer’s Banana Split), but if you just have like a small scoop, that doesn’t seem so bad and it curbs the summer sweet cravings. I don’t think I can actually go without it, unless forced to by like an ice cream famine or some serious illness.

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